When we discuss sex, we must consider the vast range of tastes, techniques, forms, and variations that it encompasses. Sex is viewed differently by various people, and it is a very subjective choice that differs from individual to individual.
Because everyone’s attitude to sex is different, and we all like various things, it’s simple to infer that preferences should not be addressed. The S&M sex category, which encompasses love and interest in sadism and masochism as a means of delivering sexual pleasure to two or more partners, is one of these variants.
Some individuals can’t enjoy sex until they’re in some kind of agony, or if they sense the power that comes with it. This is different depending on whether we want to feel pain on ourselves, i.e., be submissive during sex, or provide and inflict pain on others, i.e., be dominant during sexual intercourse.
Of course, these roles are voluntary, and the partners pick their roles and postures before each sexual encounter, and in most cases, they even agree on the sex’s course and cadence. To avoid unexpected, and sometimes uncomfortable, results of S&M sexual intercourse, it is necessary to observe certain guidelines, whether formal or informal.
Safewords, equipment selection, sharing feelings, attitudes, and experiences, role exchange, and so forth are common examples of these norms.
The reasons for selecting this type of sex are numerous and vary from person to person, but they are all quite normal, no matter how odd they may appear. Not everybody has the same sex experience, and sex is one of the few things we can do precisely as we want without others interfering.
We had a lengthy discussion with one woman for whom S&M sex has evolved into a full-fledged lifestyle. She considers herself a submissive individual who prefers to endure pain rather than inflict it on her partner. This will help us better grasp what S&M is all about and how it is put into effect.
Let’s hear what she has to say because learning something new is always a positive idea. Especially if it’s sex-related.
What is S&M sex all about?
S&M sex is difficult to express in the ordinary language since it is constantly viewed differently than what it truly symbolizes. People frequently misinterpret my descriptions of the sex I like, leading them to believe I’m a victim or that my partner is unfit because he “mistreats” me. Of course, none of this is correct.
In reality, it’s a beautiful sensation that fills me with enormous surges of energy, excitement, eagerness, and an inexplicable pleasure that leads to the climax. Pain is nothing more than a regular sexual stimulant for me.
Masochism occurs when a person likes being physically hurt, intimidated, or mistreated for sexual pleasure. That is a category in which I might easily fit. Sadism, the polar opposite of masochism, is the sexual pleasure derived from inflicting actual bodily or mental pain on a sexual partner.
Sadism and masochism are common in the healthy everyday sexual encounter, thus mutually acceptable couples frequently want it. Asking for what you want is perfectly acceptable. The usage of silk scarves for apparent binding and minor beatings during routine sexual intercourse, for instance, are not termed sadomasochism and are normal practices between sex partners.
However, several factors distinguish S&M tactics from conventional sex practices and procedures.
What kinds of sexual behaviors may all be categorized as sadomasochistic?
Before I go into detail about all of the sexual behaviors that take place in S&M intercourse, one point must be made. Sadism and masochism, no matter how clinically or psychiatrically defined, can never be classed as mental illnesses when they are practiced consensually between partners who have a deep and solid emotional bond, before anything else.
Society as a whole has a lot of negative reactions to this sort of sexual pleasure, and it’s exactly this societal stigma that prevents those who like this type of sex from standing up confidently and saying what they want without being judged. This is why the interview isn’t public or verified; in some form, it has to be anonymous.
When it comes to sexual activities, there are various options, all of which are dependent completely on the partners and their responsibilities. Submissive, or masochistic, people, for example, enjoy all sexual acts that include inflicting pain. They like being spanked, spit on, humiliated, shoved around and screamed at, tied up or treated like an animal / a pet, and so on.
Contrary to this, sadistic or dominating individuals are in charge of carrying out these identical acts. They are the ones who bind submissive individuals, insult them, treat them like animals, and beat them with whips or other devices, among other things.
All of these activities, as strange as they may appear, are designed only to provide pleasure. This is something that the rest of the population has a hard time comprehending. It doesn’t disturb me; in fact, I like it.
I am no longer the same person when S&M sex begins. In normal life and during S&M sex, my pain tolerance thresholds are not the same. I can tolerate a lot while I’m having sex with my dominant partner, and if it gets too much for me, I say my safe word, and the partner stops immediately.
What effect does S&M sex have on you and your dominating partner?
It’s tough to put into words how S&M sex affects me, and especially my partner. Various psychological factors manifest themselves in different ways depending on the sex itself. We may even experience some mental repercussions as a result of this characteristic.
It happened a few times when sex became so violent and brutal that we had to stop it sooner because it became a trigger for me, for certain prior traumas. My partner has experienced the same thing on a few occasions.
This isn’t to say that our preferences developed as a result of psychological traumas, although the two can be related in some situations. On the other hand, the physical effects are widespread, and they are by no means significant. They have no impact on my general health.
I occasionally see a few scratches or scars on specific regions of the body that have been the most exposed to being hit or inflicted with pain in any way. These scars never troubled me; in fact, I thought of them as sexual achievements. They’re like a collection of my sex mementos.
In the case of my partner, I believe that the dominance they love during sex is a personal reaction to a loss of power in their lives and that this sort of sex is their method for regaining their personality and control. For them, S&M sex is a release valve through which all of life’s troubles, anxieties, and unpleasant elements are released.
My partner and I frequently discuss the impact of our sex on our daily lives as well as our emotional bond. That dialogue is exactly what allows us to ensure that sex never becomes a terrible experience for us, but rather always pleases and benefits us. It isn’t always flawless, but we strive for perfection. We must respect one another and communicate as much as possible.
What advice would you give to those who are just starting on their S&M sex journey?
First and foremost, whether you practice S&M or BDSM sex must be a personal decision. Nobody should get in the way of it. If you come into touch with someone who is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, don’t think twice about doing it. Simply turn around and walk away from that individual at that exact time. They don’t deserve you and aren’t healthy for you.
If, on the other hand, it’s something you truly desire and you’ve already decided which side you believe you belong to (sadistic or masochistic), it’s time to get educated. Before you can put something into practice, you must first understand it in theory. This does not imply that you must purchase a large number of scientific books on S&M sex and study the topic daily as if you were in college.
You live in a technologically sophisticated era, and all you need is access to the internet and a few hours of spare time. Investigate the terms masochism and sadism on reputable websites, read about other people’s personal experiences, join a like-minded community and share your own, and most importantly, talk to your partner about it.
To be a participant in this new life experience, your partner, in whatever function they play, must have a great lot of patience, empathy, understanding, respect, and love. Those who do not match the aforementioned requirements cannot be your partners in this at any cost. This is something I can’t emphasize enough.
Then, once you’ve chosen an appropriate, suitable, and fulfilling partner, and after you’ve gone over all of the themes connected to S&M sex with him, and after you’ve thoroughly researched and learned all of these factors, it’s time to take action.
To complete your S&M experience, don’t go out and buy sex toys and accessories right away. Begin gently. Use your creativity with your arms, legs, hands, and lips. Mild spanking, minor choking, harder sex than normally, spitting, insulting during sex, and so on are all options.
Only when you and your partner are totally satisfied with these variations can you contemplate purchasing sexual accessories that will make this experience flawless and incomparable. I’m referring to various sex toys, bondage equipment, sex games, sex machines, and other items that you may utilize to enhance your experience.
Allow your partner to share his or hers passions with you, and don’t be afraid to tell your partner exactly what you want. An S&M relationship can only happen if both of you are fully honest, and then it will truly mean more than simply sex. Even after S&M sex, you have to keep taking care of each other.
Finally, remember that just because you enjoy things that are different from the majority of people’s interests does not make you any less worthwhile. You are one-of-a-kind and distinctive, and your tastes are entirely your own decisions.
Sex is a beautiful experience in all of its forms, as long as it is mutually respectful and consenting.