Whether it is a matter of late youth, years that never offer too much wisdom, or an issue of the early beginnings of adulthood, but we can all agree that college dating is a very dubious and uncharted phenomenon of love relationships.
All dating guidelines include one core principle: we should not date until we are emotionally grown and psychologically healthy enough to handle the challenges that dating entails. It seems like university students have a lot of time on their hands for everything but enhancing their personality and overall character.
Romantic relationships at college have always been tough to sustain, and it’s never been more challenging in current times, with the growth of technology, high ideals of romanticism, and much more sexual freedom all over the place.
On the other side, students may get too preoccupied with their social life to concentrate on their studies. This is not true for everybody, but some graduates opt not to date at all or do not actively pursue it out while at university. Before we begin our emotional retirement in our late 30s, it is still critical that we go through the turbulence of all emotion games, love experiences, sexual experimentation, and even a few heartbreaks.
We’ve come to explore the uncharted territory of love on campus, so buckle up, it’s going to be messy!
Understanding Hookup culture
We’ve all gone through those perplexing years in our lives when we’re quite certain we’re meant for some big Hollywood passion, but it’s nowhere to be found. Many things appear to be highly unstable, puzzling, odd, or even improper during these years. Day by day, we strive to achieve the pinnacle of our emotions or acts, but with the wrong people in our lives, all of our ambitions become unachievable.
Dating while in college is a whole different type of romance that entails the least amount of romanticism. This is particularly true if we are studying in a different city or nation. In college, there is only one thing that defines love, and that is sex. But, what exactly does sex in college entail? We believe it is time to call in the major guns. Meet “Hookup culture,” a Master’s degree program on “How to have sex as a millennial without any attachments involved?”
A hookup culture is basically one that emboldens occasional sex experiences, such as one-night encounters and other similar activities, without requiring an intimate connection, commitment, or a dedicated partnership.
Hooking up is commonly used to allude to having sex; nevertheless, many others have stated that hooking up relates to something other than intercourse itself. Sharing love, playing sex games without direct penetration, experimenting with sex devices without exchanging intimacy, and so on are all forms of “hooking up.” Hooking up translates as “coming together for a shared goal,” which in this case includes a true sexual component.
While sexual promiscuity used to coexist with more traditional forms of dating on university campuses, hooking up has taken over the reins of young adult romance. College kids are just partaking in a new type of courting that frequently leads to monogamy. Hooking up is a sexual act that has no meaning, purpose, or connection. Or, at the very least, it was intended to be that way.
University students form their sexual beliefs and behaviors in the context of a peer subculture. This is when students compare sexual events in their personal lives with their classmates to lay the groundwork for today’s hookup culture. This peer culture does not just exist among university students; it may begin to emerge for both genders about the time puberty begins in elementary school.
So, have we been trained on how to prepare for someone exceptional when we enter adulthood since elementary school or has it always been a part of us? Comparing oneself to others is a phenomenon that emerges in early childhood. Therefore, is it conceivable that, just as we compared toys and sweets as children, we are doing the same thing today as adults, only with sexual partners and relationship issues?
Students are eternal, and as long as universities exist, there will be unprotected sex: with no condoms, no feelings, exactly as the millennials prophesied.
University is a transitional stage between youth and maturity, which comes with it a slew of psychological, emotional, social, and, of course, sexual challenges. Among the many universal dilemmas that people approaching maturity face, one is critical: how can I achieve independence and become a self-sufficient individual?
When we don’t know who we are or what we want in life, it’s tough to build a personality. And when we throw in one sexual partner and a difficult love connection, we have a quick formula for catastrophe.
Self-esteem is built on excellent judgments and adult responsibilities, neither of which are particularly characteristic of the university era. Campus life is nothing like the present world, as though the story is situated in a very provocative computer game whose sole purpose is to make its players chuckle. On the other hand, that is the essential point to be made.
Nobody dates in college intending to marry afterward. And if someone does wind up marrying their college sweetheart, they are fortunate people who have had a very lucky life. And for the rest of us, for whom university was only the beginning of exciting sexual adventures, it’s important to remember that, at the end of the day, it’s all about having a good time.
How else can we develop a unique personality that has confronted all of life’s problems with tenacity, if we haven’t also faced all of life’s adversities? Yes, dating in college is challenging, and it is likely to be one of the most stressful times of our lives, but only if we take it too seriously. In reality, whatever we take too seriously in life will end up that way, which is not our intention.
Whatever lifestyle you choose, you must always practice protected sex (don’t be a coward, wear a condom), always have safe relationships (don’t hook up with the first person you meet), and love yourself no matter what you’re going through. The most essential thing you may learn in college is that the only active relationship you must keep is with yourself.
Everything else is trivial and ephemeral… until you meet your soulmate, that is. Then the dating process will be over, and you will have achieved your goal of being a sophisticated and independent person who has transitioned from the culture of hookups to the culture of emotional stability, and that is the club to join.
But, until that time comes, college should be about much more than sex. Of course, social relationships are critical for healthy and quality growth and development, particularly through comparable emotional transformations, but other life lenses must also be used.
You may form great friendships, attend parties, and complete your studies while still engaging in sex as a form of incidental enjoyment that can, but does not have to, spiritually keep you going or make you a better person.
At the end of the day, you are the one who decides the path your life will take, and it is pointless to seek others for answers to your prayers. The comparisons are wildly overrated, especially in college.