What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

It was the middle of July when I found out that my then-boyfriend has been cheating on me—and not with one person.

I’m Pisces, and after the breakup, I was going through a lot—and I mean really A LOT. Don’t ask.

But I was a nice ex-partner. Partly because I decided to move on and cry only at night (LOL), and mainly because I decided that I don’t need a man anymore—at least not for a long period. But I did need something. After hearing many stories from my BFFs about masturbation with the help of certain sex toys, I decided to pursue my happiness in a sex shop.

Back in the day, I have chosen an online sex shop (such as Emma’s Sex Store) because I wanted extremely private shopping without anyone lurking in my shopping cart. After all, it was my first time purchasing a dildo—sex toy I found most appropriate for my needs, which were the needs of a crying-over-an-ex, horny young female.

And can you guess what I did? Hint: a really dumb thing.

I just went to a category page named ‘’Dildos’’ and purchased the first dildo that came to my sight, just to not spend too much time on the site (as if someone is spying on me). It looked plain, flesh-like and the price was suitable.

Once the package arrived, my happiness was immeasurable. That was it—over the night I’ve become a strong independent woman who doesn’t need any man. At all. But it was short-term happiness.

Long story short, It was a terrible product, not fitting my needs at all—too large, the material seemed weird, and I could not help but wonder—what the heck I was thinking about?

On my way to the trash can, I was so angry that I decided not to make the same mistake ever again. And I didn’t. A lot of research and patience was needed, but it was worth it. I had my very special friend delivered to me in just a couple of days.

And it suited me like a glove.

Here’s why.

The budget was not my number one priority

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Rather it was quality and my needs.

Of course, I wasn’t going to spend hundreds of dollars on a dildo (because I could afford a real thing for that money, LOL), but neither was I looking for the lowest price deals.

Taught by previous experience, I decided to give it a try and spend a maximum of 100 dollars for my perfect new (hopefully this time usable) dildo.

It turned out pretty great, but only because I considered some other things, besides price.

I learned that a dildo doesn’t have to be penis-like

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Well, at least I never thought about it in a form of anything else. But, yeah, options are actually endless—from animal dildos to fist dildos, you can choose whatever you find most arousing. And, after a breakup (which was my situation), many would prefer something that won’t resemble the ex’s penis. Or any penis at all. You know, sometimes everything man-like can become disgusting.

Nor does it have to be any kind of dull or plain

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Sure, regular realistic dildos used by a hand are a thing (especially when you haven’t seen a real ‘’magic stick’’ in a while), but what I didn’t know is that there are various types of dildos. For example, squirting dildos allow you to experience a feeling of ejaculation inside of you (which you may not be able to experience with your beau); dildo mounts enables a hands-free experience (while allowing your hands to stimulate other erogenous zones of your body); or dildo panties, which are a whole new level of hands-free experience and pleasure.

The rule followed: Measure twice, cut once

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Really, spend some time thinking about what size do you need.

More often than not, you should not believe what any of your exes told you about their penis size. It was probably an exaggeration.

Usually, 5-6 inches will satisfy the needs of most people, since is somewhat average penis size.

If you are a size queen, you’ll need something bigger, and if you are a newbie to sex or masturbation, consider a smaller dildo. It’s better to work your way up than to be forced to throw away the toy.

Just don’t think that if you are already giving money for a dildo, that you need it to be extra-large (like horse dildos are). You may end up disappointed.

There is something about width and girth, too

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Some dildos are long but thin, and some are smaller but thicker. You know, just like in real life. That’s why the width and girth of the dildo should be considered (if you don’t want to end up with something you can’t insert down there, or something you can easily insert without pleasure).

Manufacturers mainly mention the width, but that should not worry you—circumference (or girth) is generally the same as the width. Keep in mind that the average penis width (therefore and girth) is 1.5 inches.

If you seek an extraordinary dildo shape or type, you should pay special attention to its girth.

Material matters—greatly

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

Really, pay attention to the fact of which material dildo is made. It’s utterly important.

Depending on what you want to get from your new dildo, you should choose the material of which is made.

Here are some most popular materials of which dildos are made:

  • TPE/TPR: This material has won the sympathy of many because it is most reminiscent of skin to the touch. TPE/TPR is most often used to make dildos that look realistic (that is, replicas of a real penis in every respect). A feature that additionally makes it a big favorite is its flexibility.
  • Silicone: This is also a very popular material, and like the previous one, it is completely safe. It also has a soft and skin-like finish. Silicone dildos can be quite hard or rather squishy, enabling one to choose according to personal preferences.
  • ABS hard plastic: Another common material, yet this one makes the toy which is made out of it very hard. The great thing about ABS plastic is that is non-porous (it can’t grow bacteria over time, because they can’t accumulate on it) and it can be sterilized easily. More on cleaning later.
  • Glass: Yes, glass. Glass dildos are very hard, which is logical because they are made entirely of glass. The most important thing with glass dildos is that they have not cracked or that a piece has fallen off. They need to be handled carefully. What is great is that they are very easy to clean and can even be sterilized. Also, these dildos can be heated or cooled, for an even more sensational experience.

Summary: If the most important thing for you is sterilization or hot/cold sensation—choose glass dildos; if you want a really realistic feeling—choose TPE/TPR; if you want a wide range to choose from—choose silicone (because most dildos, and sex toys in general, are made of it); choose ABS if you want stiff dildo which is easy to clean.

Lubricant is a must

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

The inevitable part of choosing a dildo is choosing compatible lube—because you can’t use just any lube with all materials. And you do have to use it to avoid friction between a dildo and desired hole, especially if you lack natural vaginal lubrication.

  • Water-based lube: Our top recommendation. This type of lube goes well with all types (and materials) of sex toys (therefore and dildos) and all condoms. If you don’t want to think a lot—go with water-based lube.
  • Silicone-based lube: Silicone is hypoallergenic, so it’s a great choice if you have sensitive skin. Another pro is that you won’t have to re-apply it as often as you would need water-based lube. Con would be the fact that it is not compatible with dildos made of silicone—over time the surface of the dildo can be damaged, making it less smooth and sanitary.
  • Oil-based lube: This type of lubricant requires even less re-application than silicone-based lube—often just one application of it is necessary. What is not-so-great about this lube is that it can lead to infections, since it is not an easy job removing it from the skin and dildos. And from the sheets too.
  • Flavored lube: These come in various flavors and scents, which are great for additional pleasure, allowing other senses to enjoy too. When choosing flavored lube, check the manufacturer’s statement about which type of lube it is (besides flavored).

Now you know how to choose the perfect dildo for your needs, but…

What I Wish I Knew a Years Ago When I Bought My First Dildo

..it’s not the end of ‘’the dildo journey.’’

To completely guide you through the process of choosing a dildo, I’ll just point out other important things you should know so you can enjoy your new toy pleasantly and for a long time.

Make the experience enjoyable

To begin, take a deep breath and relax. It’s far more difficult to insert a dildo while you’re stiff. Take yourself comfy and do everything it takes to put yourself in a pleasant mood.

After that, fully lubricate everything—your new dildo and your butt or vagina. You want everything to be smooth and slick.

Then there’s the matter of penetration. Begin by carefully pushing in only the tip of the dildo. There’s no need to rush to get it all in. Just take baby steps and then go a tiny bit deeper when you’re comfortable.

Clean dildo—happy dildo (and you too)

I don’t know who needs to hear this but—every sex toy, including dildo, has to be cleaned after each use .

Always check out what the manufacturer says about cleaning the dildo. Often it is washing the dildo with lukewarm water and soap. If your new dildo has curvations, bulges, or any textures that can retain fluids—spend more time cleaning those spots.

Dildos made of TPE/TPR should not be disinfected with rubbing alcohol, since it can damage the surface of the toy—and thus make a great place for growing bacteria.

Some dildos (such as glass dildos) can be sanitized with 10% bleach or simply boiling it in water. This also has to be stated by the manufacturer.

Always dry thoroughly the dildo before storing it.

Proper storage—as the last step of your long-lasting friendship with your new dildo

Almost every manufacturer will mention how a dildo should be stored. It’s simple: Keep it in a clean, dry place where no one can touch it. Room temperature is recommended.

If possible, keep it in a special box to be sure it can’t be contaminated.

Now you know it all! Certainly, more than I knew back in the day.

Don’t be like me when choosing my first dildo. Instead, follow these guidelines and you’ll find your ideal dildo.

If you still have some ambiguities and are not sure how to choose your first (or suitable) dildo, Emma’s Sex Store is here for you—you can reach out to us anytime.

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